


Cause and Effect

by Awesomepie3221



Category: LazyTown
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Depression, Growing Up, M/M, sad but good ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-17
Updated: 2018-05-17
Packaged: 2019-05-08 00:49:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14683008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Awesomepie3221/pseuds/Awesomepie3221
Summary: Time is unforgiving, especially when it comes to growing up.Sportacus is powerless as the children grow up around him, aging and moving on with their lives, on the course of leaving him behind. He tries to be positive and supportive, but the agony and loneliness is overwhelming, leaving him to suffer as the children leave, one by one. In the wake of loss, Sportacus learns to accept time and embrace the changes to the world around him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you @Marionette_Madness for the summary that is infinitely times better than the piece of crap I had.

Sportacus knew the children were going to grow up around him. The moment he chose Lazytown, a children filled town, he knew they would grow up. He knew one day soon he would wake up to find sharp jaws and broad shoulders instead of short legs and chubby cheeks, wild hair and missing teeth. Sportacus knew all this, he told himself. It was never hidden from him that they'd grow up. So why did he hide it from himself?

He didn't know what triggered him to realize that time existed. Maybe when he heard Trixie and Stephanie talk about their favorite mascara, or maybe when he helped Pixel ask Stephanie to prom, or maybe when Ziggy found him in the middle of town only to tell him he had found honey as a great sugar substitute. Maybe it didn't hit him until Stephanie got accepted into the dance school of her dreams, one across the world and wasn't a scheme from Robbie.

It was probably all the above.

When they were still children, they saw Sportacus as their hero. His heart swelled every time they smiled at him, their large eyes bright and full of enthusiasm for the future. They thought he was the healthiest and most athletic person in the world. He was overly embarrassed at first, all too willing to gently tell the children that he was far from, but they would insist, and he was never one to ruin a child's dream.

He was as athletic as he could be when they were children, so they could aspire to be him some day. Stephanie truly admired Sportacus and was always imitating him, even going as far as to pretend to be a superhero with him. He encouraged her, never hesitant to, and though he never admitted it, he always hoped Stephanie would take the same career as him.

She stopped pretending to be a hero when she became a teenager and decided her dance was more important. Sportacus was upset, but supported her all the same.

All the children slowly came to realize Sportacus was not a superhero, but an overly eager and passionate man who loved to help people. They still admired him, but they discovered their own interests. Ziggy started to love cooking over dressing as a superhero, Pixel started inventing his own video games, and Stingy started to experiment with different business ideas.

It happened all too fast. It was as if Sportacus blinked to see all the excitement in his children's eyes change from excitement for driving to excitement for college. It was all so terrifying and Sportacus started spending his nights awake, scared of the future. His first ever town wasn't going to need him soon enough, and he had no idea how to fix the issue.

One night he spent pacing the floor of his airship as rain splattered the windows outside and the wind croaked, making his airship sway ever so slightly.

He didn't know what he was going to do without the children. They had become his lifeline, basically. They inspired him to do everything he could to stay healthy and limber, in good mental health and help the others. Was he going to stay to help the limited adults? Maybe Robbie wouldn't dislike him as much once he didn’t have any children to encourage to make noise. He didn't think so though.

He had no reason to pace for the couple hours he did, him still walking even when the rain stopped as abrupt as it arrived. His worry was killing him and when he fell asleep on the bench in town, this time it wasn't Robbie and his squeaking ball's fault.

The children, Pixel a teenager and Ziggy a tween now, still blamed Robbie when they caught Sportacus fast asleep on the bench in the sun, his mustache twitching as his face became sunburnt.

Stephanie, always the morning bird she was, noticed him first. She stomped her feet and put her hands on her hips, her more developed face scrunching into an angry frown. Sportacus didn't wake up. She did nothing while she waited for one of her friends to come outside with her, Ziggy the next to show up. She explained the issue to him and he seemed upset rather than angry.

"How long has it been since you moved here, Stephanie?" he asked.

"Maybe six years, why?" She couldn't see what Ziggy was getting on at, it seemed to have nothing related to their original topic.

"So Robbie hasn't left him alone for six years now. I don't think he'll ever get used to Sportacus," Ziggy explained himself. He was disappointed, his head hanging low. Stephanie scoffed and dismissed Ziggy's worry.

"He does it because Sportacus lets him. We're older now though, we can tell Robbie what we think. That grumpy man," she huffed out. She started stomping to the edge of the town where the sun-bleached billboard lay. Ever so lazy, Robbie refused to repaint the billboard to its former vivid colors. Stephanie rolled her eyes.

She banged on the hatch, making the deep sound vibrate across the walls in his liar and jumping Robbie awake. Robbie yelled, a guttural sound telling the intruder to go away, but the banging continued. He grumbled his way to the top of the hatch, prepared to yell at whoever he saw, and yell he did,

"Aren't you kids old enough to know to leave me alone?!" he snapped, his eyes hard and his jaw set. Once again, Stephanie scoffed and reset her fists on her hips.

"Aren't you old enough to leave Sportacus alone?" she shot back.

Robbie stopped and blinked a few times. "I haven't done anything to that elf."

By the way her arms tensed, it was obvious Stephanie didn't believe Robbie. Robbie couldn't blame her, but he was still offended.

"Then why is he asleep on the bench? You know you tried that already," she further accused.

Robbie climbed the rest of the way out, almost falling because Stephanie refused to get out of his way. He looked at her with a deep frown and stood up, adjusting his vest to be straight. "I don't try the same thing more than once. I can guarantee I did nothing to him. Show me where he is," Robbie said.

Stephanie crossed her arms and tapped her foot, her lips pressed together with her disbelief. She had lipstick on, a bright pink that gave no surprise to Robbie.

"Come on," Robbie said, exasperated, "I'm not going to do anything to him. What if he broke something and fell asleep from the pain? Do you know how to set a bone?" It was a terrible excuse, Robbie knew it. Stephanie knew as well, but she gave in.

"Fine," she said.

True to Stephanie's word, Sportacus was fast asleep on a bench, his cheeks red from the sun and small snores escaping his lips. He looked almost ten years younger, Robbie noticed. His face was completely relaxed, his arms crossed and hands tucked under his armpits, his hat scrunched up at the top to reveal his curly hair at the bottom of his neck.

"Neither of you bothered to wake him up and tell him to put on sunscreen? I guess you were too busy being mad at me," Robbie mumbled. He poked Sportacus, half expecting it to do nothing, which it did, and half expecting Sportacus to jump up like a scared cat, which he didn't.

Sportacus groaned and shifted slightly, but stayed in deep sleep.

"Yeah, I didn't do that to him," Robbie said and pointed to Sportacus as he faced Ziggy and Stephanie.

"Then why is he asleep?" Ziggy anxiously asked. Robbie shrugged, all his interest in the problem already gone. He was surprised he had enough interest just to walk all the way over here.

"Throw a basketball at his face or something, that'll wake him up," Robbie offered. "He's probably sick."

Stephanie's face morphed from disbelief to looking as anxious as Ziggy. Her eyes flicked to Sportacus and she took in the way he sweat under the sun, and how he was so asleep that his mustache wasn't even twitching anymore. "There's no way he's sick. He doesn't get sick!" Stephanie tried, but Robbie was already out of earshot range. She locked eyes with Ziggy, both showing their nervousness.

"Do we take him inside?" Ziggy asked, but Stephanie shook her head.

"He's too heavy for us to lift. Let's put something above him to block the sun and hope he wakes up soon."

They left and returned to Sportacus ten minutes later, holding Stephanie's hot pink parasol in their hands. He was still asleep and his sunburn now even worse, making his cheeks a bright red. They set the parasol up in a tree next to the bench (a tree whose shade didn't reach Sportacus) so the parasol was over his face. They hoped his sunburn wouldn't get any worse, nor would the wind suddenly pick up and make the parasol go flying.

Stephanie had wanted to play tennis, but the net was quite a bit away from Sportacus and she didn't want to leave him alone in case something happened. Ziggy agreed with her decision and so they found a stack of playing cards and sat near the bench, playing the various games they remembered how to.

Stingy found them after thirty minutes and he questioned what they were doing. Stephanie pointed at Sportacus while Ziggy explained the issue.

"We should make him tea. That's what my mom does when I'm sick," Stingy offered. He sat next to Stephanie, his legs tucked under each other.

"We aren't positive he's sick. We're waiting for him to wake up and tell us," Stephanie said. Ziggy nodded. Stingy accepted their plan and joined their card game.

An hour later, Trixie arrived, asking if it was Robbie's fault again. Stephanie shook her head and explained they already accused him.

"How long has he been asleep?" Trixie said.

"I got up to find him there two hours ago. He's either sick or didn't sleep last night."

"Huh, okay," Trixie shrugged it off and sat down between Stingy and Ziggy, telling Stephanie to deal her in.

The sun continued its path in the sky, and finally Sportacus awoke with a start, lurching up and smacking his head onto the parasol and making it fly off the tree. None of the children noticed the parasol spinning down the sidewalk, too busy doting on Sportacus to make sure he was okay, if he was hungry, how did his sunburn feel?, why the heck was he asleep for so long?

Sportacus answered none of their questions, instead fixing his hat and rubbing the sweat off his face, wincing when his sunburn stung. "How long was I asleep?" he groaned, his voice croaking. He cleared his throat and looked around to see four pairs of wide eyes staring at him.

"Three hours since I got up," Stephanie answered.

"What time is it?"

"Noon," Trixie said.

Sportacus groaned again and stood up, stretching his bones. A few cracked. "I came down at seven," he said.

"Are you sick?" Ziggy asked.

"Do you need tea? My mom gives me tea when I'm sick," Stingy offered.

"Thank you, Stingy, but I'm not sick. I didn't sleep much last night. I'm sorry for worrying you, children." A lump formed in his throat—they weren’t children—and he cleared it. "I think it's best if I go into my airship for a while."

The children were hesitant to let him leave, but they were quiet as he climbed his ladder up.

"Come on, let's leave him alone," Stephanie said and they walked away, following her directions. It was a true sign to their maturity: when Sportacus wanted to be left alone, they were willing to leave him alone.

 

He had had a dream during his accidental nap. The dream freaked him out and left him anxious and confused, even more so than he had been previously.

He knew he had to write a letter to his father to ask for advice. His father was much older than him and had been through more towns, he would know what to say.

"Paper!" he called out. The paper and pencil fell straight to his hands and he got to work.

_Dear Pabbi,_

_I am scared and confused. As you know, I've been in Lazytown for almost ten years now, and it's been great! I still love my children and they still work hard to be active and healthy. But they are growing up much too quickly, faster than I would like. The youngest is almost a teenager now._

_Because of this, I have not been sleeping well. I have been pacing at night. This morning I went into to town only to take a five hour nap! My face is very burnt and my children think I am sick._

_Please, Pabbi, I need help dealing with my issues. I cannot sleep on the job forever, obviously._

_Love,_

_Sportacus_

With the dream still on his mind, Sportacus sent the letter and took an uneasy shower.

 

Despite his long nap, Sportacus was fast asleep at 8:08 and awake with the sunrise, having his first uninterrupted sleep in a week. Still, he woke feeling groggy. His cheeks felt like rubber, smooth and unwilling to waver. When he saw them in the mirror, he was surprised by just how pink they were. The tan line was also ridiculous, cutting off in a straight line where his hat is. He made sure it was pulled down to cover it.

He went through his exercizes slower than normal, not ending up in town until Stephanie was already up and practicing her dance in the park. He showed up just as he song ended, careful not to scare her as he complimented her routine.

"Sportacus!" she exclaimed. She ran up to him and threw her arms around his shoulders. He spun her around, but it was hard as she was almost as tall as him. Another pang in his chest—he used to be a foot taller.

"I'm so happy you aren't sick. You didn't come down again yesterday and we didn't know what to think!" she said into his neck, her warm breath tickling it.

She let go and fell the inches back to the ground. "Are you sure you weren't sick?"

Sportacus bit the inside of his cheek and looked around, making sure it was only Stephanie around. He seemed satisfied there wasn't so he took Stephanie to a bench and made her sit next to him.

"I wasn't sick, but I have a different issue," he started. "How old are you, Stephanie? Fifteen, right?"

"Yeah, why?"

He was twiddling his thumbs, a normal nervous habit, but not normal for Sportacus. No nervous habit was normal for him.

"You were nine when I got here. Pixel is leaving to college in a few months," he locked eyes with Stephanie, pleading for her to give an answer he knew she couldn't give, "I'm scared.  I've never had to deal with my children leaving me—if I should still call you children. I can't sleep. I had a terrible dream during my nap last night and I don't even know how to deal with that."

 

Stephanie thought deeply for a couple seconds on how to help her friend. Finally, she took a deep breath and started,

"You're on the other side of the spectrum as us," she said and then stopped. Sportacus waited a few minutes for her to respond, the sun beating on his neck because he forgot to put on sunscreen again.

"What spectrum?" he prompted.

"The 'us growing up' one," she finished as if Sportacus was a fool for not understanding. She tucked her legs onto the bench and turned towards Sportacus, her knees brushing his thighs. The feeling was a comfort, a reminder that she wasn't gone yet. None of them where yet.

When Stephanie figured out Sportacus still didn't understand, she continued,

"We've been talking about it for a bit now. Ziggy still isn't even a teenager, but Pixel is leaving in the fall. Somehow our topic of conversation always ends up returning to how we don't want to leave." She looked into Sportacus's eyes, her pupils blown. She blinked a few tears away and brought her knees up to her chin.

"We don't want to leave this town as much as you don't want us to leave," she choked out.

Sportacus shifted closer to her, to make himself a comforting presence, but there was nothing he could do about her tears. Every time he heard her sniff her nose from in-between her knees, a pang in his heart shot into his body.

She freely leaned into him, her tears slow and quiet, but her breathing labored. He wrapped his arms around her.

"I'm not going to go anywhere, Stephanie. This is my town. I will be here for any future generation." He wanted to say more, to say so much more to make her not cry, this girl he helped raise and shape into the person who was now crying into his chest.

It was at that moment that Sportacus realized he was not the only one with the mental turmoil he suffered from. The children were just as upset at time and change as he was, if not more. For Ziggy, he couldn't even remember a year without Sportacus. They were all going to lose a major part of their lives.

Sportacus didn't know if that was comforting or even more upsetting.

 

Past the morning, the day was as normal as ever. They went from basketball to baseball, they had an impromptu dinner picnic, the mayor made an announcement, and Sportacus was asleep by 8:08.

He woke up a couple of hours before the sunrise, covered in sweat and as uncomfortable as he could be in his bed. The sheets had been kicked across the floor and his pillow fallen to the side. He was surprised his mattress was still on the bed.

He had the same dream again, but this time it lasted longer and felt more visceral. His breathing was heavy as he stared wide eyed at the ceiling of his airship. He knew his breathing wasn't normal and he knew he needed to calm it down, but all he could think of was his dream and how it was going to come true one day.

He curled his toes and clutched the side of his mattress, doing everything in his power to calm down. Instead it got worse and instead of breathing hard, he was struggling to breathe. His legs became numb and his chest felt heavy.

Was he dying? It felt like he was dying.

He needed someone that instant. His first thought was to go to one of the children, but it was late at night and he didn't want to worry them. The same went for Betsy and the Mayor, who probably wouldn't know how to help anyway. But Robbie, Robbie probably wouldn't be asleep. Robbie would probably know how to help.

He struggled his way down the airship, jumping and landing in front of Robbie's hatch. He knocked as hard as he could in his panicked state and he was lucky that it was loud enough to bring Robbie up the ladder, grumbling and twitching his nose.

But when he locked onto bright blue eyes—eyes desperate for someone to help them—Robbie furrowed his eyebrows.

"Sportacus?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Why are you here?" He wasn't harsh in his question, but curious.

Trembling and doing everything to not fall, Sportacus said,

"I feel like I'm dying."

"Go to a hospital then, I'm not a doctor."

"My body is fine."

Robbie didn't fully understand, but he knew now that he was the only one who could help Sportacus. He invited him in and made Sportacus sit in his orange chair, studying him for a few moments. He quirked an eyebrow at the way Sportacus was gripping the chair hard, his chest moving up and down too quickly. Robbie sat his hand on Sportacus's tense knuckles and with a gentle voice he told Sportacus to breathe in time with his counting. Sportacus, his throat feeling like it had closed, nodded.

"Breathe in," Robbie said and Sportacus obeyed. "One Mississippi. Two Mississippi..." and on until five when Robbie told Sportacus to let the air out in time.

Sportacus, being well experienced in breathing exercizes, got the hang of it very quickly. They continued for a couple of minutes, Robbie squeezing Sportacus's tense hand after every five seconds, trying to make him loosen up.

It worked. Slowly but surely, Sportacus's heart started to slow and his knuckles stopped being as white and his mind cleared.

He fell asleep before he had realized it was completely over.

He woke up later than his usual time, he knew from instinct and the way his brain banged against his skull. He wasn't used to having fitful sleep.

He heard a spoon drop into something metal and he jumped, his head screaming at him. That was when he realized he wasn't in bed, not even on his airship in fact. He was on something fluffy and soft, something that had hair digging into his back because his shirt had ridden up in his sleep.

"Morning." He jumped again and looked to the source. Robbie. Yeah, he was in Robbie's liar.

Robbie looked completely uninterested in Sportacus as he stirred his coffee. His eyes were heavy and his shoulders sagging, he leaned against a table. Sportacus had no idea where Robbie had gotten the coffee.

Sportacus scrambled out of the chair, taking less than a second to apologize to Robbie for falling asleep in his chair.

Robbie ignored him and drank some of his coffee, whip cream on his lip as he lowered the mug.

"You had a panic attack," he calmly said. "They make you feel like you're dying. I've been getting them since I was a child."

 Sportacus furrowed his eyebrows, his brain fuzzy and out of place. "Why would I get a panic attack?"

"I don't know. Something been bugging you?" Robbie asked, but he still seemed disinterested. He didn't even care that the person he hates the most was standing near him in his own home.

"The kids growing up." Sportacus took a deep breath after admitting his issue and he fell back against the chair, feeling drained once again. His head wouldn’t shut up.

Robbie took his time to reply, twirling the spoon in his coffee as he thought. He conveyed no emotion but exhaustion, yawning before he finally said,

"Yeah, that's been bugging me to."

That threw Sportacus off, making his brain and everything he thought about Robbie do a 180. Robbie, being able to read Sportacus's mind, continued,

"Sounds weird coming from me, huh?" He sighed and locked tired eyes onto Sportacus's. "Those are my children as much as they're yours, Sportacus. I'm more attached to them than I should be. I know their names and their birthdays and I know what they love as much as you do. They torture me, but I don't want them gone. As much as I crave the silence, it's going to be painful to deal with."

"I-I didn't know," Sportacus stammered out, as if he had done something wrong by not knowing that.

"'Cause I don't want people to know. Not because you haven't been paying attention."

"Then why did you tell me?"

Robbie sighed. "You're missing the point. No one wants them to leave. If there were one person who did, it would have been me. You aren't alone. Everyone in this town is suffering," he forcefully said, hoping he wouldn't have to explain any further. He was exhausted out of his mind already, all he wanted was to take a nap but Sportacus standing there was preventing him.

"Now, as much as I love helping you, I need to sleep." Robbie waved his hand towards the exit and he drank more of his coffee. It got the point across and Sportacus left with no further word. He was more confused now than he had been when he first woke up.

He snuck past the children in the basketball court to his airship, only to find his father had responded to his letter. He anxiously opened the envelope and pulled the yellow papered letter out.

_Dear Sportacus,_

_We are creatures of attachment, more so than humans. We freak when things we love leave us and cause change. This is normal._

_That being said, each Hidden Folk deal with change in different ways. Your mother would help around our town, mostly babysitting younglings. I would put away criminals more vigorously than normal. Your brother likes to move to a new town for a while. But there's one thing you must always know: change will happen. You cannot prevent change as you cannot prevent time. The sooner you learn that, the better off you will be._

_Treasure the years you have with your children.  Even when they leave they will not be gone. For now they are still there._

_Love,_

_Pabbi_

Sportacus didn't know what to do with the advice, so he set the letter aside and went into town.


	2. Chapter 2

Three months until Pixel left for college. Once a week the same nightmare tortured Sportacus’s sleep, becoming longer and more vivid as he went, and more often than not he would wake up early and not be able to sleep. Eventually he wasn't able to do much active with the children as his body felt heavy and sore.

They always noticed and they always tried to help. They made him meals that he thoroughly enjoyed, and they made him a tent with fluffy pillows to sleep in, but he was past the point of being able to take naps. Still, to make the children feel better, he would spend a couple of hours in the tent every few days doing nothing more than thinking.

After a month even Robbie was drastically worried about Sportacus. He offered for Sportacus to sleep with him because maybe another body next to him would help both of them get some sleep.

Sportacus agreed. He started to sleep in Robbie's bed with him, surprised to find that Robbie even had a bed. It was a nice, soft bed with fluffy sheets and for a while Sportacus was able to stay asleep through the night, his mind clear of the anxiety and nightmare.

Unfortunately, after a week, the nightmare returned, worse than ever. He woke up with hot tears streaming down his cheeks, falling beside his head on the pillow. He sniffed and rubbed his eyes clean. It was only a dream. It had only ever been a dream.

He didn't notice Robbie wasn't in the bed anymore as he got up, finding his way into the bathroom for a cup of water. He struggled to turn on the faucet and he chugged the cup of water. His eyes were completely red, showing how hard he had cried in his sleep and hadn't noticed.

He didn't think he was going to sleep anymore so he made his way to the main part of the liar. He found Robbie hammering a nail into something he couldn't see. He almost turned away, not wanting Robbie to see him in this state, but he knew he had to get it over.

He slowly walked to Robbie, giving him enough time to notice him there. Robbie looked at him, but said nothing, and so Sportacus stood next Robbie, watching him as he nailed a few pieces of purple wood together.

"What are you building?"

"I needed a bookshelf, so I'm building one."

Sportacus grinned. "Aren't you supposed to be lazy?"

"Shut up," Robbie playfully responded. "I'm too lazy to be lazy tonight." He set his hammer down next to the wood and set it up straight. It was short, but Robbie gave it a proud smile. "Perfect."

Sportacus followed him to where he put the bookshelf on another one. The new one was a slightly darker shade of purple, but Robbie didn't seem to care. He neatly tucked about fifteen books on the two shelves, happy that they weren't messily stacked anymore.

He turned to Sportacus and leaned against the shelf. "Why are you up, anyway? I thought you were sleeping better."

Sportacus rubbed the back of his neck anxiously. Robbie knew that Sportacus would have a regular nightmare, but Sportacus had refused to tell him what it was about.

"I had the nightmare again. Woke me up.”

“Ah. Yeah, I know how it is."

"And you?" Sportacus questioned.

"Insomnia."

Sportacus sighed and leaned next to Robbie, careful not to touch the new bookshelf.

He thought for a bit, his eyes closed and his breathing steady. His mind was full and yet empty at the same time. It was calming to know there was another living being next to him, not being able to sleep just like him.

"Pixel is leaving next week," Robbie broke the silence.

"I've been helping him pack."

"He's going to go to better places than I did."

Sportacus turned to Robbie, who was already staring at him. "Why didn't you go places? You're obviously very smart."

"I'm lazy, remember? Couldn't get over not wanting to do stuff. I dropped out of high school."

"I'm sorry," Sportacus was prone to say. He would never be able to understand what made Robbie not be able to accomplish tasks.

Robbie shrugged.

 

He got the nightmare every night the next week and the only good thing about it was it didn't get any worse. The same thing happened each time and each morning Sportacus woke up with tears down his face. At least he was sleeping through the night.

The mayor was flying Pixel to the train station about an hour away where he would get on a direct train  to the town his college sat in.

The children gave him gifts while Sportacus stacked his luggage in the plane. Pixel thanked each person and gave them each a handwritten note about what they had done for him.

After the children, he approached Sportacus. Both were holding back tears, but Pixel was doing a much worse job of it, his nose running and his eyes red. Pixel said nothing, vigorously pulling Sportacus into a strong hug. He hiccupped and suddenly the tears were there, freely flowing. Sportacus refused to cry, instead he bit the inside of his cheek and did his best to focus on his breathing.

Neither knew how long it was before Pixel finally pulled back, his face disgustingly sad. He breathed hard and let go of Sportacus.

"I know I'll be back home for fall break," he started whispering, "but it's so hard when I haven't known anything but you guys."

Sportacus pulled him back in for one more hug. "It's okay, Pixel. You're going to do great. We won't suddenly forget you," Sportacus responded.

Pixel chuckled, made Sportacus's heart warm up, and he squeezed and then let go. "I know. Thank you for everything," he said and walked to the last person he had to say goodbye to.

He hesitantly approached Robbie. He rubbed his eyes clean and fixed the goggles on his head, so scared of what Robbie would do to him. It didn't seem to matter that he was leaving in mere minutes.

The surprise was unexplainable when Robbie pulled him into an awkward hug, but a hug nonetheless. It lasted the fraction of the time that Sportacus's hug did, but touched Pixel the same way. Robbie pushed him away and gave a sweet smile.

"I'll miss you," he said, tacking on no insult. Pixel appreciated it more than he could ever admit.

"I'll miss you too, Robbie." And then an added touch, "don't ruin my computer before I'm gone!"

And so he waved before climbing into the plane and suddenly he was gone, they couldn't even see the smoke trail of the plane anymore.

Sportacus felt a heavy weight in his chest. The first child was officially grown. He had two more years until Stingy was going to become an adult yet, but he knew it would be just as painful.

"Sportacus?" came Stephanie's voice from behind him. He circled to find her holding a basketball, Trixie and Ziggy by her sides. How long had he been staring at the sky? "Do you want to join us?" She held the basketball up.

He looked around, trying to find Robbie, but to no avail. "No, I think I should find Robbie. I didn't know he was going to say goodbye," he said as he bit the inside of his cheek.

The three of them looked disappointed, but they accepted his answer and went on their own. There was a pain in his chest as he jogged to the billboard and he couldn't tell if it was still from Pixel's departure or from turning down the remaining children.

He found Robbie fast asleep on his chair, his eyes puffy and it hit Sportacus straight in the chest. He climbed onto the armrest, one leg hanging over and the other holding his weight on the ground. He snuggled close to Robbie, desperately hoping he wouldn't wake him up, and he started rubbing his fingers through his hair. There was no gel in it, making it curly and soft. Robbie groaned, but stayed asleep.

Sportacus didn't know how long he stared into space, enjoying the feel of Robbie's hair before he passed out himself. He woke up at night, Robbie awake but unmoving. His nightmare was worse than ever, and he was sobbing, hiccups freely leaving him and making loud noises.

Robbie didn't hesitate to pull Sportacus onto his lap and wrap his arms close. Sportacus put his own arms around Robbie's neck and buried his head into the crook of his neck. He was sobbing hard, his chest hurting as he desperately took in air, and Robbie was rubbing his back, trying to make him calm down.

"I-I'm s-so sorry," he blubbered out, snot getting all over his mouth. Robbie shushed him, told him it was okay, that sometimes crying is the answer.

Sportacus cried for a while and even when the tears stopped, he didn't leave the comfort of Robbie. He never stopped rubbing his back, helping calm him down until Sportacus finally pulled out.

"I'm so sorry, Robbie," he said, his voice quiet and hoarse.

"Sportacus..." Robbie started. He bit his lip and averted his eyes, but he was back in a second. "Was it the nightmare?"

Sportacus nodded.

"Can you please tell me what it's about? I've been watching you suffer for months now and I've never asked because I'm the villain and all but... I want to help you. I need to help you."

Sportacus didn't know if he was willing to tell Robbie. He trusted Robbie, he wholeheartedly did, but he wasn't sure he'd be able to say it out loud without going into a panic attack.

"It's okay if you don't want to," Robbie added.

Sportacus decided. "I'll tell you." He took his time to start, prepare himself for what he was going to feel, and Robbie patiently waited.

"It's always the same, but it gets added on to each time. And I always feel worse and worse every time I wake up from it. I'm just so tired of it.

"It always starts as my first day in Lazytown. I can feel the excitement of finding my town and the children's tiny hands. Suddenly, it skips a few years and I can tell because the seasons fly by me and the children's hands grow and burn my skin. I can't look anywhere but straight so I'm not sure what type of burns their hands give me.

"The next I know they're all teenagers. Pixel is gone and Stingy is working with his father in the city, so he's gone. It's all I can focus on. Stephanie, Ziggy, and Trixie try to comfort me, but I only know that their hands continue to burn my skin.

"It takes me through each child leaving. Pixel's goodbyes, Stingy getting on a train in the early morning, Stephanie packing her stereo with sad eyes, Trixie boarding a plane to Europe, and Ziggy... he doesn't leave."

Robbie was still intently listening, encouraging Sportacus to keep going even though he started getting choked up. Sportacus pushed through his closing throat.

"Ziggy's the first one with a gravestone. I'm with him his whole life, his hand never stops burning me. It goes through my skin to my bone, but I can't tell him to stop. I know he won't." Sportacus rubbed his lower arm, his eyes full of pain.

"He shows me different things he's cooked, but all I'm doing is screaming to make the seasons slow. Nothing stops, and I don't move until his hand is gone. But it's only gone because he's dead."

He stopped talking and Robbie let him. About five minutes later, Robbie makes sure he's okay with finishing.

"Yes, I'm fine. It's helping to say it out loud.

"I see the gravestone and without fail, I scream and cry and kick things and punch the frozen ground. I can feel _it_ so viscerally, it's like I'm actually there and the wind is actually freezing my cheek. It lasts an eternity.

"Pixel is next. I go through his life, children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren, and I watch him die from a collapsed lung. When his heartbeat stops and no one notices, I am helpless. I can only watch him. His hand never reaches me and for some reason, I want it to. I want it to burn me in the same way Ziggy's does.

"I'm back at the graveyard in front of Pixel's grave. I can see Ziggy's from the corner of my eye. I'm frozen and my chest is in a lot of pain because a small section of my heart is now beating on top of Pixel's grave. There's one on Ziggy's too, but I can't see it. They literally take a piece of me to their grave."

He wiped his eyes and Robbie squeezed him.

"Trixie. She dies of old age with her two children standing by her side. She's happy, but I want her hand. Another piece of my heart is beating at her grave.

"Stephanie is next. I go through her life in a circle, and she reaches for me once, and she's desperate. I can see it in her eyes and it breaks my heart every time. She doesn't reach me, but she becomes a world-wide known Broadway dancer," he stops to smile, "and she has a beautiful family and makes a lot of friends and she lives happily." The smile falls.

"She gets shot at an old age. Someone jealous of her talent, she didn't think she needed security anymore.

"My voice is gone at the graveyard now and my heart is practically gone, one tiny portion loud in my ears.

"Then comes Stingy. He touches me a few times, but it never burns as much as Ziggy's did. He dies from a heart attack. And at the graveyard, my chest is completely open because they've taken it all. It's dark and rainy and I'm about to do something, I don't know what, because I wake up before I do it every time."

They're silent for a long time afterwards and Sportacus thinks about nothing. He stays close to Robbie and stares into empty space.

Eventually he looks at Robbie and Robbie looks anxious and scared and Sportacus doesn't know what to think.

Until Robbie kisses him and it's sweet and calming and then he pulls away, apologizing because it wasn't the right time and he was an idiot for doing it.

But Sportacus pulls him back and kisses him again, the kiss deep and passionate because it clears his mind and somehow feels right.

Robbie is breathless when Sportacus pulls back, and his eyes are wide with blown pupils. Sportacus puts his hands on Robbie's cheeks and rests their foreheads together, their breath mingling in the cold air.

"Thank you," he said. "Can we go to bed?" Robbie nodded.

Sportacus slept the best he had in months that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These chapters are short because I'm posting it all one after another. I finished the story already and am just breaking it up into sections that I think are good.


	3. Chapter 3

Of course, the kiss fixed nothing, but it was a new-found comfort in Sportacus's life. The anxiety and the panic were still there at the bottom of his gut, but it was easy to ignore. He was able to play with the children again and enjoy the meals they made him, and they were generally much happier. All of them could tell Sportacus wasn't the same, but they were glad to see him around town when they woke up each morning.

Sportacus got through each day knowing he would be able to go to Robbie's house and kiss him and feel the comfort he always needed.

Fall ended and winter came, a week after Christmas, Sportacus and everyone in Lazytown, including Robbie, were crowded in Stephanie's living room to watch the ball drop for a new year. The children all had sparkling wine and the adults an expensive red wine that even Sportacus was partaking in. The children thought he wanted the drink because he was falling into depression again, but Sportacus calmly explained to them that there wasn't anything wrong with a rare drink. They seemed to accept it.

The ball fell in a spectacle of lights and the new year ticked over, and Robbie and Sportacus looked at each other. Both wanted to know: are you ready for the commitment of a new year's kiss?

Sportacus's eyes told Robbie all he needed to know and so their lips met with a cheer throughout the room and both blushed, but they were happy.

Sportacus had a second glass of wine.

They made a commitment that night that spread throughout the year until Sportacus couldn't remember the last time he had gone into his airship.

Robbie gave him what he needed to sleep through the night and slowly the nightmare stopped occurring and he was sleeping normally. The children could tell when Sportacus's eyes were blue and bright once again, eager for the day every morning.

And so it was normal again.

Robbie and Sportacus grew closer to love with each day and the night of their one-year anniversary, they gave each other their full selves.

The second new year's kiss went by and it was private with whispered nothings and alcohol stained breath, swimming heads and carelessly placed hands.

A week later the new semester at school started and Sportacus awoke with the nightmare fresh on his brain and hot tears on his pillow. Robbie awoke and held him until the sun broke the dark and Sportacus left for breakfast, Robbie fast asleep again.

He sat on a bench in the park as he ate a banana, staring into dead space. He heard snow crunching and he expected to find Stephanie and have to explain to her why he looked tired again, but he was surprised to have arms wrap around him and a cold kiss pressed to his forehead.

"Did it come back?" Robbie whispered.

"Yes," Sportacus responded, the hot air loud in the cold air. Robbie, gently, made Sportacus stand up and lead him back to his liar.

"You're not even wearing gloves. You aren't going to freeze on my watch."

Despite the heavy weight in his belly, Sportacus smiled. "Thank you. I never notice."

Robbie made Sportacus a naturally flavored honey tea, which soothed Sportacus as he tried to sort through his feelings.

"I think it's because Stingy is about to graduate," Sportacus said. Robbie agreed and he sat next to Sportacus with his own cup of coffee in his hands.

"You know there isn't anything I can do to prevent your anxiety," Robbie started. "I'm not going to pretend I can do anything more than stick around when you feel this way."

And then Robbie sighed, his fingers tightening on his mug. "When I was younger I always tried to find a guy to get rid of that gut feeling, but quite a few turned out to be assholes. I learned the hard way that the feeling never goes away, it depends on how you deal with it if it's going to be painful or not.

 

"But the way you're built," he sat his mug on the counter and pulled on Sportacus's pointed ears, "means it affects you much worse than it ever has me. It means you constantly have to fight your most basic instincts and it messes you up.

"You can't hide the children from the world in the way Hidden Folk keep their children from leaving. You have to let them go. And yes, you will live centuries past them, and centuries past me, but you can't forget that we are here now. Stingy is still here, the town is here, the snow is here, it's all here. Your dream is not here. Anything that is not here should not have any control over you, Sportacus.

"None of my ex boyfriends are here, therefor they have no control over me. But you are here, and you have control. Pixel is gone and so his leaving has no control over you. Stingy is not leaving yet and so he has no control over you.

"And..." he stopped and drank a quarter of his coffee with tired eyes. "I hope I made whatever point I had clear."

Sportacus wanted to comment on Robbie's speech, but he had nothing to say.

"I think you should spend the day outside with the children, okay? It's Saturday, there's snow everywhere, and I'll let you guys make as much noise as you'd like." Robbie smiled.

Sportacus took the offer and he spent the day making igloos and snowmen, having snowball fights, and generally making a lot of noise. Robbie didn't bug them for it all day.

Days got closer to Stingy's graduation and Sportacus's stomach hurt more and more. The nightmare was back in full force, waking him almost every night. Robbie was always there to hold him and kiss his tears off when he needed it. But the graduation still came, and it came with a splitting headache.

Stingy grew to be a fine gentleman with smart money management and creative ideas. He kept his hair neat with gel and his shirt tucked into his pants at all times. He had a charming smile and a charismatic way of talking.

He was moving to the city where his father ran an average sized business and where he could learn the ropes of the business. He was excited, saying he hadn't seen his father in months, and he would be able to visit often no problem, but it still pained Sportacus when they gave each other the last hug.

As Robbie did for Pixel two years ago, he said goodbye and he gave Stingy a hug. He was holding a bag that he nervously handed to Stingy.

"My piggy bank?" Stingy said with a wide smile as he pulled the ceramic pig out. Robbie shifted his weight.

"I lied when I said I had broken it all those years ago. I found it and thought it'd be a good sendoff gift."

"Thank you so much, Robbie."

Then Stingy was gone and Trixie and Stephanie were next.

Stephanie focused on dancing for the next few months, perfecting a complex routine that she had an audition with at the beginning of September. Sportacus helped her to the best of his ability, but his most useful criticism was mediocre at best.

The school she was vying for was a prestigious and expensive private school in Spain. She was constantly scared that she wouldn't get in, but Sportacus was completely confident she would be fine. She was extremely talented and healthy, with the personality any private school dreamed to have.

September arrived and Sportacus was with Stephanie as she practiced one last time before her audition. She never tripped once, her face was the perfect smug expression for the song, and suddenly she was ten years younger, hopping around with an immature smile and legs the opposite of elegant.

Sportacus shook his head and blinked a couple of times. The song finished and Stephanie gave a perfect courtesy.

Sportacus felt nothing as he clapped and cheered for her, because for a second there she was his little girl again, with her striped dress and short hair, the messenger bag she carried everywhere with her. He saw her crooked teeth again and her sloppily placed mascara, pink cheeks even when they weren't flushed with sweat.

Now she stood in front of him, her dark eyes full of the life of a young adult, her long hair in a messy bun, and face clean of any makeup. She had on no dress or messenger bag, instead a loose shirt and some dancer tights, but even through all the change she still looked at Sportacus with the same immature enthusiasm as when they first arrived.

She wasn’t leaving yet so therefor Sportacus had no control. Right now he had the control to hug her. She was covered in sweat that coated his clothes, but he didn't mind.

"Go take a shower and get ready for your audition. You'll do amazing," Sportacus encouraged. Stephanie beamed at him, grabbed her boombox, and ran off.

Neither Trixie nor Ziggy were outside, so while Sportacus waited for Stephanie to return, he shot hoops from as far of a distance as he could see. He missed once.

Stephanie came back out with a sophisticated look. The messy bun was now extremely neat and coated in a thick layer of hairspray. Her clothes were all black and form fitting, showing off her delicate hips and skinny legs. The perfect body type for classical dance.

She had on makeup now, a very mature and plain style that brought out the shimmer in her eyes.

She wrapped Sportacus into a tight hug and squeezed, using the hug as the encouragement she needed from him. He willingly gave it away.

In December, when the temperature first fell below fifty degrees, Stephanie got her letter of acceptance with information for a scholarship inside. They celebrated all day.

Stephanie didn't know any Spanish and while she was going to study it at the school, Sportacus offered to help her. He knew the top ten most spoken languages, along with the Hidden Folk language and the one native to humans on his island. Languages were a part of his vigorous training to become a hero.

"You'll really help me? Thank you so much!" she exclaimed.

" _De nada_ ," he replied. " _Estaré encantado de ayudarte_."

They practiced almost every night. Sportacus started off simple but was able to go quick because Stephanie learned the grammar quickly. He taught her vocab through conversation and simple stories. Ziggy joined a lesson once, but he understood nothing, not even the simple conjugations, so he left them alone.

The year ended on a positive note, even as the nightmare tortured Sportacus almost every night. It became a part of his routine and eventually didn't interrupt his sleep anymore and though his mental health stayed lower than normal, he was able to disguise it well.

It came closer and closer to Trixie and Stephanie's graduation and the days were normal. Sportacus played during the day and slept in his and Robbie's home at night. He smiled and he laughed and he joked around and he taught Stephanie Spain's culture and language. He tried what Ziggy cooked, he encouraged Trixie in her wood building, and he complimented Robbie every night.

In the middle of February, on a rare night when Sportacus couldn't sleep, Robbie confronted him. Sportacus didn't know what about.

"You've always been stupid," Robbie said. "I can still tell the nightmare hasn't left. You lurch in your sleep when you have it, always try to grab something that you can never find."

Sportacus's eyes were not designed for the dark and he couldn't see anything, his eyes the same closed as open, but he knew Robbie could see him. He was tense, his face panicked, and by the way Robbie strengthened his grip on Sportacus, he could feel and see what Sportacus felt.

"I didn't know that," Sportacus said.

"You do."

"I'm sorry, Robbie."

"I didn't want an apology."

Sportacus shifted to where he was sitting on the bed instead of lying down, his heart small in his chest. "What do you want?" he asked to where his best guess of Robbie's position was.

"For you to tell me."

"Nothing's changed since I told you about it the first time."

"The environment has." Robbie said everything so bluntly, without emotion, as if he was saying an obvious fact. But to Sportacus this wasn't as simple as the sun goes down every night.

"Yeah," Sportacus replied.

"So tell me." The blankets rustled and the mattress shifted, then the weight on the other side was gone. Sportacus blinked when the light turned on and it seemed too bright.

"Please tell me, Sport," Robbie said again, his voice wavering with the first sign of emotion since the conversation started.

Sportacus looked desperate. He said nothing more the rest of the night and he was already gone by the time Robbie woke up, the artificial light still shining brightly.

Trixie decided she wasn't going to leave Lazytown. "It needs someone to watch it, after all," she explained. And when everyone shot a look at her, she waved dismissively. "Besides Sportacus."

Late after the sun went down, Sportacus found Trixie staring at the stars on the roof of her house. He found his way up to her and sat next to her without a word. They studied the stars for a while, both pointing at certain ones they liked more than the others.

"So why are you here?" Trixie eventually questioned.

"I didn't want to ruin the record of not having to save people from rooves and slippery feet."

Trixie laughed, the high sound falling flat to Sportacus. She was quiet again and Sportacus tricked himself into thinking he was in the clear, but right as he was about to point out another star, Trixie interrupted him.

"What's the real reason?"

Sportacus's face fell and he sighed, his hands finding each other in his lap. "Robbie asked me something with an answer I don't want to say out loud."

Trixie excitedly gasped. "Did he ask you to marry him?! How do you not want to say yes!" she accused.

"I wouldn't hesitate to say yes if that were the case," Sportacus said.

"Oh," Trixie responded, slightly disappointed, but then relieved to hear that wasn't the issue. "So, what was the question then?"

"Something very personal," he said in a fatherly voice. Trixie got the hint and asked nothing more.

He went home well into the AMs to find Robbie still awake, screwing something into a metal plate covered in electrical wiring.

"I'm sorry," Sportacus said, voice plain.

"For not telling me or not coming down for almost a day?" Robbie's eyes didn't move from the plate.

"Both. I feel empty, Robbie. That's what’s wrong."

Suddenly piercing gray eyes landed on Sportacus, conveying something Sportacus couldn't place.

"I've felt empty since September," Sportacus continued, hoping to make Robbie say something. Instead Robbie put his tools down, straightened his back, and wiped his hands with a towel. He took Sportacus's hand and led him into the bathroom, then let go and went to the tub.

"What are you doing?" Sportacus asked, scared he had done something wrong.

"Making us a bath."

The water was almost the perfect temperature as Sportacus slowly entered it, his tired body happily taking the invitation of heat. Robbie entered the other side and let out a sigh of relief.

"Neither of us slept last night either, did we?" Robbie asked.

"No."

"No better time to deal with this then now. Sleep deprived minds feel everything strongly."

Sportacus figured the same.

"Did you know that I was born when this town was a thriving fishing and tourist spot? I know that sounds weird, knowing what it's like now and what it looked like the day you arrived.

"But our town was never big in population. Tourists liked that about us, it felt homey. We were as well-known as New York and Chicago, famous for the part of the country we're in. And now... now we aren't even mentioned in history books.

"Do you know why, Sportacus?" Sportacus shook his head. He had no idea Lazytown had a lively history. "Because I was born in the early 1800s and Lazytown didn't change with New York and Chicago. Because we stayed the same while the rest of America grew older, and it was nice at the time, but it hurt us. Now we're a poor town with a culture far removed from the rest of the country and we're almost completely hidden, though we don't want to be.

"The rest of the country grew without us. We desperately stayed the same as New York grew its culture with immigration, and Chicago hosted the world fair, and Boston built an ivy league university, and all these other accomplishments happened around us. So, America forgot about us overnight.

"My point is the childr--teenagers have to grow and change as time passes. They can't stay the same and be forgotten about, be a boring pastime. I know it's hard and it's painful and you've been dealing with it for, what, four years now? But you can't let it control how you feel or how you sleep or even what you trust me with. They're going to grow up and move to a better town and leave us behind, and it's going to be painful, trust me, but I need you to be able to feel that pain. A life with no change and no emotion is boring and bland."

Sportacus's hands were wrinkly and his legs restless, the water almost cold by now. He hadn't realized Robbie had been telling his story for so long, and he wasn't sure Robbie realized either. Everything Robbie said stuck with Sportacus and weighed heavily in his head. He had only one question.

"How were you born in the 1800s?"

Robbie laughed. "I'm half fae. I thought you'd have figured that out by now."

"I guess not," Sportacus mumbled. He looked at Robbie, locked their eyes together. "Can we please go to bed?"

"Yes."


	4. Chapter 4

Robbie's story stuck with Sportacus as the year progressed. Robbie practiced with him almost every night to bring his emotions back. It took a long time, like they had to take sledgehammers to a thick wall.

Sportacus was able to feel positive feelings just fine, it was the negative ones that had gone away. He felt nothing as Stephanie and Trixie graduated. No sadness nor nervousness like he had felt for Pixel and Stingy. He smiled and clapped and he was proud of Trixie for being the first in her family to graduate high school, but he didn't walk home sad. He should have. He wanted to. Why couldn't he?

Robbie didn't know and neither did Sportacus.

Stephanie left at the end of July, when the temperature was at the highest and normally they went to the beach. The town decided she needed a sending off party because she was going to a different country, and they spent a week before she left planning everything.

Ziggy baked a cake in Stephanie's favorite flavor, Sportacus arranged a fruit plate, Stingy, who was visiting from the city, worked with Trixie to decorate the party (though they fought more than decorated it seemed) and Pixel, home for the summer, was compiling a playlist he knew Stephanie would love.

Sportacus had a good idea to write her going away banner in Spanish, so they hung it up and spread out " _Te extrañaremos_ " in big pink letters.

Stephanie rounded the corner to the park at dinner time and was thoroughly surprised to find the party, running around and hugging everyone she saw. Sportacus stood under the banner with a bright smile, and when she read it she laughed and thanked him for teaching her the necessary Spanish.

" _Nunca una problema_."

They ate fish on a picnic blanket, everyone laughing and having a great time, the atmosphere blinding bright as the sun started to fall. For the first time in a while, Sportacus felt light bloom through his chest and the laugh he let out was real.

After they ate, Stephanie forced everyone into two lines, making sure everyone had arm’s length room between them. She then ran to the DJ booth, leaving everyone to stand in their confusion, but soon enough a song they all knew blasted from the speakers.

Taylor Swift's "Shake It Off" started with its preppy and bubbly instruments. Everyone expected Stephanie to direct them in some dance, but instead she turned towards them, clapped her hands together, and just yelled "dance!" Everyone took that in their own way.

Ziggy moved his hips until Stephanie grabbed his hands and made him dance less tense, the mayor and Bessie slow danced but were failing in the fast beat, and the rest of them all danced independently, simply happy to be there. Stephanie still had three days left.

Pop music played for a while and they all danced until they were exhausted and the streetlights started to turn on. Stephanie pulled Pixel aside and whispered something in his ear. He nodded and ran to the DJ booth.

Soon enough "Bless the Broken Road" by The Rascal Flats played.

"Finally! A real slow song," Betsy excitedly said. Stephanie nodded and went to Sportacus. She bowed and held her hand out.

"Will you accompany me for a dance?" she joked. Sportacus chuckled and took control of her hand. He spun her around and they settled into a slow and simple dance, Stephanie's hand on his shoulder and their chests together. He felt warm, a fatherly love for Stephanie.

"I'm going to miss you the most," she whispered.

"Yeah," Sportacus mumbled. His chest hurt, but it was the saddest he had felt in a while. It was something.

The song continued and they continued. It was comfortable and very relaxing to sway round and round, the lyrics moving Sportacus to a smile. Stephanie pulled her head away and took a small step backwards so her eyes could meet his eyes.

"How come Robbie didn't come?" she asked. She looked a little disappointed.

"He told me he couldn't risk getting more attached to you than he already is."

The answer seemed to satisfy her, though she was still upset that he wasn't willing to get attached.

"I didn't know he even knew my name."

"Of course." In a low voice as if Sportacus would get in trouble to say it, he added, "he loves all of you, he just isn't willing to admit it." Stephanie smiled.

"Can you make sure he comes out when I leave?"

"No doubt about it."

She gave a curt nod, but then broke out into a mischievous smile.

"By the way, my dad died when I was little, so you better practice more for when we dance at my wedding. No tripping over your feet."

"I didn't realize I was doing bad now," Sportacus defended himself. Stephanie glanced at their feet, then gave a small shrug with a smile.

The song sang its last word and played its last chord right as the sun finished its descent. They ate the cake, letting it melt in their mouths. For a split second, Sportacus wished he could eat processed sugar, only to be able to experience Ziggy's baking once in his life.

After the cake, Stephanie stuck around until everyone had left except for Sportacus, who was making sure everyone got home safely. She sat on the bench and invited Sportacus next to her, who happily complied as it was past his bedtime and he was tired, aching to sit.

She grabbed one of his hands and squeezed it, rubbing her thumb across the tight but soft skin. She could feel his bones, but not see them.

"How are you doing?" she questioned, putting on her motherly voice that Sportacus hadn't heard since she was little and Ziggy always scraped his knees.

"What do you mean?"

"You know, with everyone leaving. How are you sleeping? Eating? Is Robbie helping you? I swear if he makes it any worse I'll kick his butt into next week," she threatened, always the feisty one when it came to defending the ones she loved.

"No, no, no he hasn't done anything," Sportacus rushed out.

Stephanie's face softened. "Good."

"And I've been... working," Sportacus settled on, but when Stephanie's face scrunched in disbelief he winced.

"Working?" she said.

"On feeling better." She sighed and grabbed his hand with her second hand, both rubbing circles into it.

"It's been four years, Sportacus. Why don't you feel better?"

He grinned at the immaturity of her question. Despite all the years she had grown, she still had trouble understanding how others recovered. But she was empathetic and compassionate, so she disguised it well.

"Because you guys were my first children and I'm very attached."

"Then why don't any of our parents care as much as you do about us leaving?" Stephanie asked and it was a question that absolutely stumped Sportacus.

"I don't know..." he stammered out.

"You're more of a parent to us than our real parents, I suppose."

Sportacus was thrown off, because she said it so matter-of-factly. Sportacus had never thought of that possibility for anyone other than Stephanie, but only for her parents because they had died years ago.

But thinking about it, it was true. Trixie's parents were always drunk and kicking her from the house, Sportacus couldn't count all the times she had desperately climbed into his airship in the middle of the night; Stingy's father never bothered to visit him before Stingy moved to the city and his mother was too busy running some fashion line in France; Ziggy's parents tried to be strict on him, but they never paid attention enough; and Sportacus couldn't even recall a time he saw Pixel's parents.

He hesitated, Stephanie squeezed his hand, and he said, "Yeah, I suppose."

"And not all of us are leaving either. Trixie told me she was going to stay, and I know Pixel has told me he wants to come back after college. He says big city life isn't for him. I'm not sure it'll be for me either, I'll more than likely come back."

She pulled her hand away and smacked it against her arm with a frown. Sportacus jumped and moved to snatch her arm, his reflexes telling him she was hurting herself. She looked at him with wide eyes.

"There was a mosquito," she said. He let go of her arm.

"I'm sorry, Stephanie." He had her remove her other hand and he stood up. "I think it's time for bed." The smile he gave her was small but told her that he didn't have enough energy to talk anymore.

"Yeah," she mumbled. "Seems like a good idea." He hugged her and went off. He fell asleep the moment his head hit the pillow.

In the morning, as Sportacus and Robbie ate breakfast, Sportacus set his fork down. Robbie looked at him, quirking an eyebrow.

"Something wrong?"

"No, Stephanie just wants to make sure you'll be there to see her off in a couple days."

"I was there for Pixel and Stingy, right?"

"Yes."

"Then tell her I'll be there."

He was. And for the first time, he cried.

Sportacus had to convince Robbie he wasn't weak for crying. It felt good to take care of him, to do what he was trained and born to do.

They fell asleep late and after many words of reassurance.

It had been a while since Sportacus was woken up in the middle of the night from his crystal. He didn't think it had happened since he moved in with Robbie, actually. Yet there it was, beating his chest and ringing in his ears. Robbie wasn't there to grumble about it.

In his eyes, he saw Ziggy sobbing into his pillow, with snot running down his lips. He was out of the liar in a second, yelling to Robbie that someone was in trouble.

He knocked on Ziggy's window, making him jump and apologizing with his eyes. "Please let me in," he asked, carefully and calmly.

Ziggy rubbed his eyes, as if he was trying to hide that he had been crying, and popped the window open. Sportacus crawled through, just barely fitting. He succeeded in making Ziggy chuckle.

"Ah," he said as he landed on the bed, bouncing a bit. He crossed his legs and gave a playful smile. Ziggy chuckled again, and he took his sleeve to rub his nose.

"I'm sorry for waking you up, Sportacus," Ziggy said afterwards in a weak voice. Sportacus's eyes were soft and empathetic.

"You didn't, my crystal did," he said. He pulled Ziggy close to him, enjoying the feel of being close to someone. The second person in one night he had to comfort and though Sportacus hated seeing the ones he loved cry, it was always good to feel needed.

"So how come you're crying?" Sportacus asked.

"Stephanie's gone," Ziggy simply said.

Sportacus laced his fingers into Ziggy's hair and started pulling the small knots out.

"Not permanently," he said.

"I know," Ziggy responded. "But she's been my best friend since she moved here. She's always backed me up. Whenever Trixie did something mean or Stingy took something of mine, she was there to pick me up and solve the issue. I don't know what to do without her."

Sportacus thought, his fingers softly running through Ziggy's hair. Ziggy sniffed. "How about tomorrow," Sportacus started, "you, Trixie, and I go camping. To get away from the stress for a little bit. Maybe I can convince Robbie to join, if that's okay with you."

"I'd love that."

"Good!" Sportacus smiled and Ziggy let his head fall to his lap. He pulled his cover up to his chin in a battle to twist it the right way, and then he took a deep breath.

"I love you, Sportacus," he mumbled.

Sportacus slept in Ziggy's bed that night, his head leaning against the wall.


	5. Chapter 5

Robbie was asleep in his chair when Sportacus jumped down the hatch to shower before he went to his airship to grab his camping supplies. Not much was left in the airship since he had parked it in a field about half a mile from town, but he had left a few rarely used supplies in there. He rarely went camping because the town was so small as it was, so the supplies had been left inside.

He hated using more water than necessary, so his shower was very short, short enough for Robbie to have woken up when he got in but only barely awake as Sportacus walked back into the main area.

Sportacus turned on the sink to fill up his water bottle as he watched Robbie get up, stretch and make his way to Sportacus from the mirror. He wrapped his arms around Sportacus's waist and rested his chin on his wet hair, making a happy, sleepy sound.

"Did you sleep comfortable last night?" Sportacus joked.

"It'd been a while since I slept in my chair."

"You didn't even worry about me, did you?"

Robbie cracked an eye open. "You're my superhero. I knew you'd be fine."

Sportacus chuckled and turned off the tap. He escaped from Robbie and turned to face him, screwing the lid tight.

"Trixie, Ziggy, and I are going camping today and tomorrow. Please join," Sportacus practically begged from the start. Robbie's face fell from the tired contentment.

"Me? Camping? You must have gone crazy last night," Robbie said, his voice incredulous.

"You went before!" Sportacus's mustache twitched as he clasped his hands together.

"Yeah, to make the kids sleep," Robbie retorted.

Sportacus, knowing he had a sweet enough face to do it, gave Robbie puppy dogs eyes. When Robbie crossed his arms and looked away with a snooty expression, Sportacus sighed under his breath.

He pulled Robbie's face towards him and had their lips interlocked with no time to spare. Robbie had morning breath, but Sportacus's was minted, and Robbie pulled close, deepening the kiss until Sportacus took the initiative and rolled his tongue around. Robbie gasped and pulled back, his cheeks hot.

"Why have you been holding _that_ back?" Robbie stuttered out.

Sportacus smiled smugly. "I needed it for future use. Point in case." Sportacus gestured towards Robbie's flushed figure. "If you go camping with us, I know more moves like that one."

Robbie nodded with wide eyes.

Sportacus had won the debate before it had even started.

An hour later the four of them met in the square, backpacks full of needed supplies and eyes full of excitement, except for Robbie, who seemed to regret being manipulated the longer he had to stand there.

They went to their usual spot. It was one about three miles away that the children had chosen eight years ago. They went camping that summer more than every other time combined.

True to his nature, Robbie started complaining after walking for thirty minutes, but no matter how many times Sportacus offered, Robbie refused to be carried. "I don't need help," he’d gruff out without fail. Every time, Sportacus would give a lopsided smile to Trixie and Ziggy, one that told him he knew, but he still liked Robbie.

"I didn't sleep enough for this," Robbie whined, puffing and walking in a way that was absolutely terrible for his back.

"I don't think you exercize enough," Trixie said. Robbie sneered at her and she laughed.

"Yeah! You used to exercize all the time. What happened?" Ziggy added.

"What?! I never exercized!"

"All the ways to chase me out of town was exercizing," Sportacus added, almost embarrassed to tell him.

Robbie scoffed. "Necessary exercize. Didn't count."

"S _uuuuuu_ re," Trixie sarcastically said with a roll of her eyes. Robbie tried to say something, but he sputtered enough that he stamped his foot and gave up.

"How much longer do we have?" Robbie asked after fifteen minutes. It was obvious in his voice that he was desperate for a break.

"About an hour," Sportacus responded. Robbie threw his head back and groaned.

He managed another thirty minutes before he literally fell, his bag breaking the fall. Sportacus turned around when he heard a thud and a tree branch snap.

"Oh, come on, Robbie," Trixie said with an air of unbelievability.

Sportacus smiled and rolled Robbie over, throwing his bag over his back. He picked up Robbie in a bridal position, Robbie being too exhausted to even attempt to fight against it. He was limp in Sportacus's arms, snuggled into himself.

"You really do like him, huh?" Trixie mumbled, just loud enough for Sportacus to hear but no louder. His eyebrows furrowed.

"Of course. What makes you think I don't?"

"It's just surprising, 's all." Sportacus could tell that she hadn't planned on being heard and didn't expect to have to explain her comment.

"Yeah," Sportacus agreed. "It is."

Robbie shifted in his arms, his thumb falling into his mouth. Sportacus smiled. Yeah, it was pretty weird. It was like he was carrying a man baby right now, but he wanted nothing to be different as he trudged through the long grass, Ziggy and Trixie whispering to his side.

When they got to the campsite, Ziggy made them dinner while Trixie and Sportacus set up the three tents. Robbie leisured around, taking his time to get a good look at his surroundings. He seemed content, though Sportacus was sure he didn't want anyone to know.

It was a beautiful place. The low sun was running through the trees in an orange glow, reflecting off the still lake water. Trixie sighed happily and plopped next to Robbie on the log.

"We found this place a while ago. The logs were already here, but it looked pretty vacant, so we claimed it. Of course, we can't stop other people from camping here too, but Sportacus taught me to share long ago. It was always Stingy that had the issue," she said, unprompted. She was leaning forward, her elbows on her knees. "I really miss them," she mumbled. "I don't think Sportacus realizes quite yet how it's affected all of us."

"No, but he's trying," Robbie said. "He says he's selfish for not focusing on you guys. He gets really upset."

"I figured he was. I know how attached he gets."

They were silent, the air around them melancholy. Sportacus was by Ziggy, helping him fry some vegetables with a wide grin.

"Thank you for taking care of him where we can't. It's nice to remember that he's allowed to break towards you. He never would for us," she said, disappointed, and Robbie thought that out of context she almost sounded like a villain. He was proud for a quick second.

"Yeah, I'm lucky," he said.

They were interrupted by Ziggy saying the food was done.

That night, Robbie fell asleep surprisingly easy for being on the ground, but he supposed laying on Sportacus's chest with strong arms around him was enough to keep him calm. It was Sportacus who woke him up with the moon high in the sky and the frogs and crickets loud outside.

"I didn't mean to wake you up, Robbie," Sportacus whispered.

Robbie groaned and moved from Sportacus's chest to his side, resting his head on Sportacus's wide shoulder.

"But you did. Why?"

"I didn't do it on purpose," Sportacus defended himself, his lip showing his obvious disappointment in Robbie not believing him.

"I know," Robbie said. He grabbed everything he could to find the lamp, which he turned on and then immediately shielded himself from the bright light. "But you still woke up," Robbie finished.

"I woke up sad," Sportacus said. Robbie stopped and put his hands down, his eyes fine with the light now.

"Sad?" Robbie said, but he seemed excited. Sportacus furrowed his brows and nodded. He had thought Robbie liked him now, so why would he be excited at Sportacus's sadness?

Robbie smiled wide and pulled Sportacus into a tight hug that Sportacus wasn't willing to return. "You're sad, Sportacus!" he shouted.

"And?" He still didn't understand what was worthy of celebration.

"Oh my gosh, dumby, you can actually _feel_ the pain! It woke you up! Am I not allowed to celebrate that?"

Though it was an odd thing to celebrate, Robbie was right. Sportacus felt bad and that was good. It had been almost a year since he had felt anything but happy and empty.

He lurched into Robbie and laughed, it ringing through his sad chest and pulling all his emotions to the front.

"The Berlin Wall has a break," Robbie joked.

Sportacus kissed all over Robbie's cheeks, pecking him like a bird. "Let's go swim," he offered.

Robbie grinned and pulled away from Sportacus. "That's a terrible idea. Why you might ask? One," he counted one finger, "you can't see crap in the dark."

"I don't need to see to swim."

"That makes no sense. And two, lake water is disgusting."

"And refreshing," Sportacus added. Before Robbie could argue anymore, Sportacus grabbed the lamp and Robbie's hand and pulled him out of the tent. Robbie stumbled but wasn't able to recover as Sportacus lead him quickly down the short path to the water. He gently set the lamp down.

Robbie crossed his arms, huffed, and tapped his foot. "Do you want to go back and get the bathing suits?"

Sportacus shot him a crooked smile. He took the ends of his shirt and pulled it up and over, the limited light tracing his working muscles. He started shimming off his pants and lastly, his boxers, until he was confidently standing there completely nude. "Don't need them," he said, then gracefully dived into the water.

Robbie looked around nervously. When Sportacus came back up and shook his head like a dog, Robbie hissed,

"What if those two," he pointed a finger back at the tents, "wake up and investigate?"

Sportacus dismissed him. "They won't. And besides, Trixie's an adult and Ziggy almost is. They can handle it."

"What? You're okay with the children seeing you naked?"

"Hidden Folk don't care about being covered like humans."

"Hard to believe coming from a species called 'hidden folk'," Robbie scoffed.

Sportacus laughed and sent a splash of water at Robbie, making him sputter away in a frenzy of motion. "Come on, Robbie!" he begged.

"Fine." Robbie was much more delicate with removing his clothes than Sportacus and he was much less confident in his body, refusing to dive. He slowly walked in. "This is _cold_ ," he complained, holding his arms on his chest.

"Really? I couldn't tell. …But I did grow up in Iceland," Sportacus said. He went to Robbie and pulled him farther in, forcing him to get used to the water quicker. Robbie yelped and tensed.

"Stop, you heathen!" He smacked Sportacus lightly, making him chuckle and let go of Robbie. Robbie then splashed him, covering Sportacus's eyes in lake water. Sportacus wiped them with his hands and laughed loudly. Because that wasn't the response Robbie wanted, he splashed Sportacus again, but this time stronger.

That started what he wanted. Sportacus sent water Robbie's way, coating his hair. Robbie returned the favor until it was an all-out splashing war like they were little kids after their parents finally told them they could go swim.

Robbie did better because he could see more than Sportacus, but Sportacus's muscles helped create the big splashes that Robbie couldn't do. It was childish and rowdy and loud, but Robbie was happy to be doing it.

Sportacus won, of course. Robbie got too tired to continue and so he held onto Sportacus in the water, just as content to relax into each other.

The night was quiet and the water calming down into small ripples, and Robbie was able to forget everything that wasn't Sportacus and wasn't the sand underneath his feet. He was able to forget he was in a lake and not a sandy pool, that fish were swimming around him and Sportacus.

And he was able to forget any anxiety as Sportacus's warm breath whispered, "I love you."

And he continued to forget as he mixed the air with his return of love.

And then, "let's go back to the tent. Being this close and skinny dipping is killing me," Sportacus said. Robbie agreed.

 

"You know, I could hear you and Robbie last night," Trixie smugly said. Sportacus flushed and choked a bit on his morning apple.

"Which part?" he asked and crossed his fingers that she was going to say the lake.

"You guys splashing out there. But now I know you guys did something you didn't want me to hear and I think I have an idea," Trixie teased.

Sportacus awkwardly giggled and took another bite of his apple as an excuse to say nothing more. Trixie let him have it.

They hiked for the first half of the day and the second half they spent swimming. They convinced Robbie to play chicken as long as they never made Sportacus sit on his shoulders. The teams were pretty evenly matched, but out of three games, Trixie and Ziggy won with a high five. Robbie moped and Sportacus congratulated them.

They swam a little past the sunset until they decided it was time for s'mores, and so they dried off and huddled around the fire. Robbie was happy to have something sugary after going without for two days and Sportacus was happy to help Robbie cook his marshmallow to perfection. Robbie ate four.

They went to bed late, staying to tell stories around the dying fire, but eventually Sportacus had to tell them it was time to sleep. He said his plan was to leave shortly after the sunrise so they could get home early. Ziggy and Trixie complained at having to go to bed and Robbie complained about having to get up.

Sportacus was simply happy to be with the person he loved and the children he still had at the moment.


	6. Chapter 6

The wall had a crack, but it wasn't broken. Sportacus would wake up sad and he would be upset thinking about his nightmare, but he didn't feel as viscerally as he had previously. Robbie reassured him constantly that it would take time, that by Ziggy's graduation he would feel the pain, and Sportacus believed him, but the longer it took, the more Sportacus became dependent on the wall to protect him and the more scared he was of the flood once it broke.

Yet when the nightmare woke him up crying again, like it hadn't done in so long, he was happy to tell Robbie of it in the morning. Robbie was proud, happy to call it an accomplishment, an odd one at that.

Ziggy's plan after graduating was to study at a chef school in the city while living with Stingy. Stingy had said it was a great idea and he and his father would love to share their home.

"Can you believe it, Sportacus? Stingy is going to share his home with me! He used to be the most selfish person alive."

Sportacus wanted to disagree with Ziggy, but Stingy had been pretty selfish before. "You've all matured. Even Trixie has stopped pranking the mayor," he settled on.

Ziggy gave him a blinding smile.

Sportacus was proud of his children, but he still wished they were younger.

The nightmare had evolved as each child had grown up and told Sportacus their real plans. Trixie was the one to stay with her hand on him now, while Ziggy left. And he started to see Robbie in almost blind spots, in such quick motions that he could barely tell it was Robbie. He never saw Robbie dying, but he never wanted to see Robbie dying. Not much of how each died changed, though. The order had the tendency to be different, but the causes stayed the same. He wouldn't be able to handle different causes.

And then Ziggy graduated and time slowed down to a millisecond, the train that took him moving in slow motion, the waving of everyone remaining in town was half its normal speed, and the hug Trixie gave him lasted an eternity.

The way he cried that night took forever, each rub Robbie gave his back took minutes to complete.

"You can feel the pain, Sportacus. I'm so proud of you," Robbie told him. Sportacus knew that was good, but he wished he couldn't. He would give anything to not feel the way his stomach was stabbing him right now. He wanted to be numb again.

He tried to build the wall back, thinking it was possible because the foundation hadn't gone away. Robbie caught on quick and spent the next week keeping a close eye on him, telling him to be sad, to cry every night, but don't build up the wall.

"Why do you care so much?!" Sportacus burst out one night, absolutely exhausted. Robbie had been comforting him, repeating the same things he had been saying all week, and Sportacus's head was screaming at him, telling him the pain was bad and being empty was better until his ears were so fuzzy that he had burst, scrambling away from Robbie by pushing him. He stared at Robbie with heavy breath and a hot gaze.

Robbie pushed himself straight and his eyes were hurt. He fought Sportacus's outburst with his own, tears welling up in his eyes. "Because I went through the same shit as you when I was young and I haven't recovered and I can't let that happen to you!"

Sportacus's heart sank into his feet because he had yelled at Robbie for trying to help him, for doing nothing wrong. Robbie collapsed in sobs, and it wasn't until then did Sportacus realize what he was doing to Robbie. He hadn't realized how Robbie had slowly become greyer, less likely to tease and complain. He was destroying Robbie and didn't even care to notice, all because of his shitty problems that were six years in the making.

He fell next to Robbie, unwilling to touch him. He didn't think there was anything to say so he looked at his hands with their short and dirty fingernails, the opposite to Robbie's perfectly manicured. Robbie took a deep breath and he shakily rubbed his eyes. Slow minutes passed until he said,

"I haven't felt anything strongly in about a hundred years. It's torture and I'd give anything to feel what I used to. Because after a while it wasn't just pain I blocked out, it was _everything_ , every damn emotion that existed left me." He stopped and took in a painful breath, one that shook his body.

Sportacus put a hand out and he was close, so close to touching Robbie and helping him, but Robbie smacked his hand and scrambled away, curling into himself in a corner.

Sportacus felt terrible and he regretted everything he had done since he got into Lazytown. No good memories were worth what he was doing to Robbie right now.

Then he realized something that made him scoot ever so closer to Robbie. "But aren't you—aren't you feeling something strong right now?" he tried, hoping Robbie wouldn't lash out. "And don't you feel strongly about loving me? Didn't the children strongly annoy you?"

Robbie's hiccupping sobs slowed slightly, but he didn't unravel from himself. He flinched when Sportacus put his hand on his back, but didn't move away.

"I think you're doing better than you think. And I think I've been selfish in our relationship."

He moved to Robbie until he was snuggling into him, helping calm him until his breathing was slightly hitched, but no new tears were forming.

"You called yourself selfish," Robbie eventually said with the hint of a smile. "You're the least selfish person I know."

"I can be selfish in some areas," Sportacus said. "I always hogged my mom from my brother." Robbie wetly chuckled.

"Listen, Robbie. I'm sorry for not realizing how my issues were affecting you sooner. I only knew that I was constantly upset, and I forgot my mood can dampen others. It was wrong and selfish of me."

"I never had the courage to tell you," Robbie mumbled, pulling his head from between his legs. His eye makeup was extremely smudged and trailing down his cheeks. Sportacus gave him the most love filled look he could muster.

"Don't ever blame yourself. I shouldn't have yelled at you either," Sportacus demanded, because he knew Robbie had the tendency to blame himself for Sportacus's health.

"No," Robbie tried. Sportacus smiled and pulled Robbie's head onto his shoulder. "You shouldn't have," he finished.

Their relationship improved after that night. Sportacus stopped trying to build the wall and focused as much on Robbie as he did himself and they slowly worked out their issues together. It helped that all the children were officially grown up and the anxiety of their departure was gone, allowing Sportacus to finally adjust to the changes.

And time finally moved fast again, faster than he had ever experienced it. Days passed in minutes, months in hours, years in days. He got married to Robbie in a traditional Hidden Folk marriage back in his village, Ziggy came back to Lazytown to open a restaurant, Stephanie became a famous dancer, Stingy got married and had a son, Pixel became rich off a video game.

Sportacus was there to watch it all in a blur, but a different one from the nightmare. The blur was a welcome and happy one with nothing to burn his skin, and he barely noticed the seasons changing.

In fact, he forgot about the nightmare eventually. It hadn't come to him in so long, didn't play a role in his life at all. He was much happier.

Lazytown got a new group of children, most sons and daughters from the original group, but some new because of the economic increase of the town. Sportacus watched them grow up before his eyes with not near as much pain as previously, much more used to the feeling. It was the same for each generation of children to come and grow, for each child he had to get unattached to.

Until there was one generation that he left before they grew up. Hundreds of years had passed, he wasn't very active anymore, he had lost the children and Robbie, and he knew it was his time to go. He had surpassed his life expectancy long ago.

He said his goodbyes to the current residents of Lazytown and crawled into the liar he had shared with his husband long ago. His airship was long gone with age.

He fell asleep at exactly 8:08, a time so familiar to him, but he wasn't gone right away. The nightmare had come back, with all the familiar faces from his young years. It was all the same. The same sequence of events, the same pain, except for the ending. All the original children were standing by their graves, mature and content faces looking at Sportacus.

"You did such a good job," Stephanie said to him, her voice wispy and breaking through the heavy fog, clearing it into a blue sky.

"We never could have made it without you," Ziggy added more blue sky.

"You helped me donate thousands to those in need," Stingy said, and his voice travelled farther.

"We always stayed out of trouble," Trixie put out.

"And followed our dreams," Pixel finished.

The sky was mostly blue and Sportacus smiled at his children, who gladly returned the favor. They all pointed behind Sportacus at the same time, and for the first time since Sportacus had the dream years ago, he did what he was supposed to before waking up.

He saw the delicately made hand first and though he had no idea who it belonged to, he grabbed it. The fog moved away in waves, taking the rain with it.

Slowly, to savor the moment, Sportacus moved his eyes up the arm. He was covered in a film of purple with glittering orange in it. He saw a lanky body and a long chin, smartly painted lips and softly placed eyeshadow.

But what stood out most were the large wings that spread across the background, blocking out the rest of the graveyard. They were slightly flowing, but they looked like a waterfall. They entranced Sportacus and he squeezed the hand he was holding.

"Sportacus," everyone echoed around him. He felt nimble fingers touch his jawline and move to cup his face, and Sportacus flicked his eyes onto ice cold grey ones.

Slowly, Robbie's lips met Sportacus's and he couldn't remember a time they had felt so soft.

"Join us," Robbie said. His breath sent a spark down Sportacus that ended at his feet, and he tightened his grip on Robbie's hand even more.

"Yes," he whispered warmly.

Robbie started to walk and Sportacus followed, the atmosphere around him falling away in shards and just barely missing him. He knew he was safe as long as he followed Robbie.

As the nightmare left him, the pain did too. All his earthly emotions fell into a pile of glass.

He breathed a sigh of relief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this fic over a month in the notes in my phone. I hope you've enjoyed and it's a worthwhile fic. I'm still learning how to keep everything connected because I have a tendency to add stuff and not expand it or tie it up. I hope I didn't do that too badly in this fic.


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